What are you guys doing?!

This was the exclamation of at least 3 women in the parking lot after yesterday's boot camp work out.

What in the world do you think we're doing? Knitting sweaters?!

Started off the with usual loop around what I've affectionately named The Black Lake (Harry Potter REFERENCE just for you Weezie)

Sidebar: who knows what sort of mythical creatures might live in that muck. Though about 1/2 way around the trail I did start to think about swimming across it just for a shortcut/change of pace. Then I realized I'd inevitably get some sort of lesions on my already alabaster skin. Digressing....

This time though, we had backpacks on with our foam mats for the soon to come upper body/ab tortu..err.....workout that was waiting for us. We all admitted that we felt pretty hard core running with the packs past the other park users who sort of gawked in our general direction as we passed them. That might have made the whole exercise worth it.

Then it was bench dips, push ups, bench dips, push ups...you get the idea. This is the part that absolutely killed me. And is still killing me. I had to bend over so my hair met my brush this morning, even after I stretched and soaked last night. I think I busted my wings.

Circuit training proved to be fun and less torturous than I thought as we were only at each circuit for a minute. I'm the kind of person who can only do the same exercise for a limited amount of time. The whole idea of "sets" and "reps" makes me think of doing math problems or something in elementary school.

Then came time for the nubby balls. Of course, this was fodder for my already disgustingly inappropriate sense of humor from the get-go, when I saw Major Payne pop them out of his car and carrying them to our workout area (I was the only one facing him when he was walking towards us with the balls, and of course I yell out "Those are some big balls there!" The look of shock on the faces of the other participants was golden. GOLDEN)

New goal for the weekend: Run/walk every day and find someone with a hot tub. STAT.

Yep.

Yeah, Maribeth did a vigorous bit of ab-work by vomiting copiously. I was impressed. I fear, alas, that before this is over, we will all be visited by the Most Holy Diety of Chunk Hurling.

Day 1: In which Maribeth actually tosses her cookies...

...or in this case, her spinach bagel melt from lunch.

So I got this bright idea to join in the boot camp workout my co-worker Lisa's brother-in-law does every summer. I've been losing weight somewhat steadily the last month or so, and I was under the clearly disillusioned impression that this would be a great kick in the ass to my workout routine.

Oh it was a kick in the ass alright. A steel toed boot right to my posterior by the one and only Roy*
(who, due to his choice in head wear yesterday, will be referred to for the undetermined future as Major Payne).

The two laps around Buddy Attick Park quickly turned into one lap real fast once Major Payne realized that we all sucked at life, particularly cardiovascular exercise.

But that didn't stop him did it. No. The PAYNE continues.

After the 1.5 mile run/walk came 213902134.79 lunges, side steps, and step ups. Major Payne boot camp continued to live up to it's billing, as he was screaming and yelling "to" us motivational Dr. Phil-celebrity-fit-club-esque slogans like "DREAMERS DREAM, DOERS DO!" and "WANT IT MORE THAN LIFE!"

Thank the good lord that I actually didn't pass out last night during the workout, otherwise I would've never heard the end of it.

But unfortunately, while I didn't lose consciousness, I did in fact lose something else.

My lunch.

That's right. I made it through the entire workout and cool down without any major major problems. But in the parking lot, in front of 3 relative strangers, a coworker, and the man in the Good Humor truck, my Bagel Place lunch paid me a conjugal visit. And not a consentual one.

Major Payne couldn't have been more proud. Cheering me on and pouring ice water on my back to make me feel less ashamed of my body's inability to cope with rigorous physical exercise of this nature.

I'm just glad we didn't do this on campus on McKeldin Mall like he wanted to. Otherwise I'm sure some student who I denied for in-state tuition would've pointed and laughed at me telling me that revenge is a dish best served warm with a side of lunges.

And today we do it all. over. again.